It is hard for the parner go vegetarian, I just started 2 months ago, and I don't convince anybody in my family yet. They can not believe, we can live without meat.

Thank you so much for embarking on this testimony of being a vegetarian and having a meat-eating partner. I finally embarked on a vegetarian diet recently (after many years of consideration) and I have found the support system to be inconsistent. However, I know it is good for me and the planet, so I pledge to continue. Also, I never realized how political being a vegetarian really is to some people, until I announced to my family that I would no longer be eating "anything with a face". Also, my boyfriend who still eats meat (although has recently admitted that because of me he has been more conscious of how much) has been supportive but apprehensive at the same time. Thank you for your insight, as I find it very supportive and helpful.

I have a question in regards to a meat-eating partner. I finally opened my eyes and decided that I wanted to go vegetarian because of the cruelty inflicted on animals. My boyfriend of 3 years says he'd never give up meat. Is it unreasonable for me to give him an ultimatum? He believes it's stupid for me to throw our relationship away over vegetarianism while I think it's stupid that he would rather eat meat than be with me.

I'll confess now: i eat meat and i like it. So why am i here? i have a vegan partner and would like to cook for her. I don't intend on become vegan/vegetarian but will try to be more flexible.

to Olga (above) I think it would be wrong for you to give you partner an ultimatum. Surely your relationship is more important than your/his food choices. If you accept him as a meat-eater, he will probably be willing to eat the odd vegetarian meal every now and then to begin with and slowly you may be able to convince him to eat vegetarian more regularly. Eventually he may even become vegetarian himself. Let him make that decision.

I must agree with Richard who posted his comment Oct.19. I have been a vegetarian since I was 15.
My husband of 23 yrs. is now just coming around. He respects my eating choices. Our 18 year old son is now a commitited vegetarian, my husband is now starting to really appriciate not only how we feel about our eating style but is now really seeing the health benefits as well. I'm quite proud to say that last week when grocery shopping my husband had no desire to even look in the meat dept. He has been eating veggie for 2 weeks now. Meat eating is more of an ingrained behavior than an actual choice. To make the switch takes time and can be very emotional for some. To make someone you love feel guilty or defensive will just fuel the idea that "all vegetarians are freaks". So to all you lovers of meat eaters, just give them time,love and support.
One of the best ways you can do this is by inviting them to cook with you. Let them see we eat more than tofu and lettuce.
Start slowly by making pasta dishes and savory rice recipies. And always let them know how much you appriciate the effort they make for you. Serving meat relacement foods, Boccas, etc, is a easy painless way to ease a meat eater into the veggie eating style.

I am writing from a meat-eaters point of view, as my partner of 9 yrs is the vegetarian one. We moved in together after two years and I took great pleasure in cooking for him and leafing through vegetarian cook books for recipes I could cook for him. I wanted to show him that there was so much more to a meal than the "accessory parts" he always had to make do with at home, as his mother would cook meat every day. Since that time my meat consumption has gone down by about 90%. I don't miss meat when I cook as there are so many great recipes to follow up on. Lately I have noticed that the meatless periods are getting longer and longer. The trick is, that I am not aware of going without meat, because the meals I cook are so complete that I just don't miss it.

All I have to do now is cut out the remaining 10% and I am sure this will come around soon.

So, speaking from a (still) meat eaters point of view, I can say, the process is long and a lot of people just don't go vegetarian over night but if you just let them be and let them find their own way to a meatless diet they will get there soon enough.

WOW! It is nice to know we all seem to have the same problems with family. Now I am very fortunate because my husband and I are both vegan. I had my in laws come visit for a week and didn't know quite how to deal with the vacation. It all worked out find they ate as many vegan meals as they could and when we ate out the ate their meat dinners. I am not interested in changing anyone mind about food. It is a VERY personal issue. You have to know you are doing the right thing for you.

I've been a vegetarian for 2 years now.. my husband is not. He is actually a hunter aswell which I TOTALLY hate (and have never been for even when I was a meat eater).. he has only started hunting in the past 4-5 years really.. we've been together for 13 years , married 8 and have 2 beautiful daughters.. as much as I would LOVE for him to stop eating meat and to stop hunting I'm not willing to throw our relationship/marriage away for that.. he respects my choices.. although I don't respect his , its something I have to live with. His family who are also HUGE meat eaters have also excepted me and even go out to their way to make sure there is something for me to eat when we go for dinner.. I don't think you should have to give up a relationship because one eats meat and one doesnt'.. but we sure can try to get them to stop !!

I can't express how happy I was to find this story & blog. I am in the process of converting to full veggie status. My live-in boyfriend is a true carnivore. But he does respect & fully support my vegetarian goals. It seems that all of us with carnivore partners will get the support we need, surprisingly. It's just the outside world that can't get a grasp on it. I've noticed how so many people close their eyes to the reality of animal cruelty out there. They truly put their heads in the sand about it. Sigh...regardless, I don't push it. Vegetarianism is my own personal success. Again, I'm not fully there yet but doing really well for my first month! I just need help on the dairy part of it all!

My fiance has been vegetarian for about 10 years. I have been vegetarian since 2005 when we got together. Prior to our meeting, I was already on the gradual path to becoming a vegetarian, eating fish or chicken only occasionally. I was already about 90% vege. Hence, the transition was not difficult for me at all. I welcomed his influence and I am forunate to be able to share a vegetarian home and kitchen with him. It would be difficult to share a home with someone who chooses to eat meat regularly. My Dad MUST have his meat. My Mom is slowly evolving and reducing her intake. She is great about making sure that my fiance and I always have options when at their home. Sometimes, we just bring our own meat substitute and prepare it ourselves to take the pressure off of her. She is interested in the health benefits to my vege diet. I love her interest and questions about my vege recipes and choices!
It is a personal choice that cannot be forced onto anyone. You have to let them learn and decide for themselves. I feel that all I can do is be an example to others. I share my knowledge with those that express interest. I refuse to enter into debate with those that attempt to discount or judge my choice to be vegetarian.

hmm, in order for me to fully commit and stay committed to veganism and all things pure good and healthy, i need a partner that does the same. when i was vegan and my partner was so against it. i found him to be ignorant and unattractive. i wanted to provide all the information i had seen and read myself to help him at least think about what he put in his mouth. Furthermore, is it really smart to stay with someone that continues to put poision into their bodies after you tried to show them a better way? In the long run aren't i somehow supporting this unhealthy industry by staying with/buying animal derived foods for this person? i think for me it is so sexy to have a man that is vegan, it tells me also that in the long run i will not have to worry so much about health problems for him or I, we can just live our lives. It just seems that staying with a meat eater after i've made the change will always have me wondering when he gets sick. is it the meat? what about passionate kissing after he has just eaten meat? in the past this has left me feeling like a "traitor". how could i "swap spit" with someone who ate a dead animal? i feel torn and dirty. but i guess it is his resistance to even accepting my lifestyle as a vegan, let alone reading the information and forming an educated opinion. I just feel i want my mate to do it with me. i feel weak to do it on my own, while he is next to me eating meat, he almost makes eating meat seem right to me, which i know it isn't, i just do not want to "normalize" cruelty and blatant disregard for health. my worst fear, is he or I getting some major disease or health problem from our continued eating of animals. Then I am sure i would be thinking "i knew of the better way, and i ignored it to make him happy". well the way i see it if i make him happy we'll both be in early graves, or end up old with alot of health problems.
I need want and desire a vegan man. we can push each other to keep going in the right direction not one going in the right direction and the other trying to drag them back into doing things the wrong way. i need someone who wants to work on keeping their bodies clean and in great working order too.

I'll be interested to keep reading your story. I am a vegan and have been for 5 years. My partner & I have been together for 6 years. He just became vegetarian about 1 year ago. I was finding it to hard to be with him, I wasn't coping with being with someone who could eat and contribute to something that was against my every belief. But luckily that feeling didn't have to go on. I within myself said "I love this man and I know that deep down he loves animals like I do" and it was only then after I quit nagging, that my partner on his own accord became a vegetarian. My partner is very headstrong and I found that the key was when I stopped nagging him, he chose himself to become vegetarian because he didn't want to eat animals anymore. He is now so good that he wont even eat pizza out unless it is rennet free cheese on the pizza! I am so much happier! But I can't wait to keep hearing how you and your partner cope. It all comes down to love and respect, and you two must also have that.

Hi I was a vegetarian up till i was 15 and my parents divorced and my mums new man ate meat. So i eat a bit of chicken and fish now and then but still love my veg! I am considering going back to being a vegetarian, but in my country, England, we arnt educated that its wrong to eat eggs or drink milk?!! My boyfriend loves his meat but as were moving in together next year i am going to gradually get him off meat antill he realizes his not eating it no more, ie using less real meat more faux meat and more vegtables, but he hates most vegetables! How can I get him eat them?? Hes 19!!! As i grew up vegetarian I always eat my veg (im 18) and can live without meat!! I think if youre consider having kids make them vegens from birth and they will know no diffrent, im talking from experince as i grew up Vegetarian! When i eat chicken and eggs i always always always buy Freerange Chicken and eggs :-) so i know that theyve had/have a nice life. I am going to get a Vegetarian cookbook!!

I am primarily vegan and my boyfriend who had been a vegetarian before was omnivorous when I moved in. I am also a prolific cook. So when I moved in, the only thing I asked is if we could not cook meat at home. He agreed and not much else was said about the subject. I cooked for an army like I always had (used to have the happiest neighbors you ever met) and he never complained as the food was so good and plentiful. Now 5 years later he has started to see the many benefits of being veg including how much better he feels vs when he ate meat. He has now been a committed vegetarian again for about 6 weeks and is very happy with it. Although I thought sometimes to ask him to go veg, I knew it was his personal decision. Now through his own evolution I have, in him, a wonderful partner and a fellow vegetarian.

So happy to see this story! I'm in the process of becomeing total vegan. Not a easy task when you eat meat your whole life! Its been a very rewarding expierience for me though, To know I'm saveing animals in the process! Thanks Peta for all the strengh!

This November I'll be 22 years a Vegan. Fortunately my wife of 22 years is also vegan. I couldn't have it any other way.
We have a strong marriage, but if anything ever happened to it, there's no way I could live with or date a non Vegan.
Recently I told my family members, brother, sister, in-laws, that I didn't want any animal products in my house. Some understood, others were shocked. I just decided I didn't want any kitchen utensils, oven, microwave, refrigerator or counter tops to come in touch with it. I guess I've gone over the edge, but it's something I feel strong about.
I went to a cattle auction here in Florida yesterday, looking to rescue a few cows to live out their lives on the 7 acres I have. I was saddened to see so many cows crammed in pens with a sound of a 'cry' more than a 'moo'. I couldn't stay, I left, and will never return. I'm looking for locals who might want to sell a me a few before taking them to the market.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is, once you believe and know the truth about something, there's no turning back. I was a huge meat eater, my Father owned a steak shop in Philly. I was raised on Philly cheese steaks, but I never tell anyone what to eat or how to live their life, only if I'm asked.

Bravo! Finally I hear about someone else with a "mixed" marriage that isn't considering divorce! I've been a vegetarian for about 8 years and my husband is a tried and true carnivore. However, his mother has expressed her utter delight in my ability to get him to eat artichokes, spinach, and anything else remotely green. A majority of the time he eats vegetarian at home when I cook. When I'm working, he makes what he and the kids want.

I think the key is choosing your battles. I was a vegetarian before we met and he was an omnivore before we met. We've learned to compromise and it works for us. But I do take great pride in the fact that he eats SIGNIFICANTLY less meat than he did when we first got together.

I'll turn vegetarian as soon as someone shows me a cow doing something more important than getting broiled.

It's amazing how some people can't believe vegetarians live without meat. It's was difficult at first from eating meat SO long but after while you start losing your interest in it and it starts to disgust you.

[:

I feel that its hard for a lot of people to change what they've always been accustomed to eating for so long. I myself have considered to start out slow as a vegetarian. I feel that I am struggling and I do have "some" family support but get the occasional " you know you can't stop eating chicken" because its my favorite thing to eat. But the more I read about animals, the more I am aware of the cruelties. I want to change my thinking and my taste buds.

I agree it's hard to live with someone who's a meat eater.My husband used to eat my vegetarian meals, and I used to eat meat when he cooked.but it wasn't easy. I found his rational that "if it comes on a poystyrene tray it's not meat to me" attitude disquietening-he was lying to himself and he couldn't see it.We broke up 4 years ago and I immediately went vegetarian- almost vegan-and I feel so content now as I'm living the life I want to. And no, I would never compromise again

Well, after reading all of these comments, I am inclined to write for some advice. I have been a vegetarian for 18 years. My boyfriend is a total meat eater. He would probably eat meat 3 meals a day if available to him. We have found it very difficult to integrate our diets into the same kitchen. I have gotten over the idea of meat being in my pots and dishes, and he has eaten vegetarian meals on occasion, although he doesn't like to. We have tried to cook meat on the side, then he can add it to the vegetarian food that I am eating, but he says that for meat to taste good, it really needs to be cooked in with the meal, not just on the side. Cooking two totally seperate meals seems like too much work, time, and money. I am not trying to make him veg., and he is not pressuring me to eat meat, we have just decided to repect eachothers diets, and not try to change eachother. That all being said, I am sure there are others out there in my possition, and I would love some suggestions for keeping the peace in the kitchen, and keeping everyone satisfied. Open to try anything!

I have been a total vegetarian for about 20 years. I was still eating chicken only for about 5 years prior.
I am in a relationship with a meat eater. He loves his beef and pork. He will not eat vegetables or salad. Maybe a potato or tomato, sometimes a little broccoli.
Our only real problem is going out to eat, or on vacation. He gets frustrated that dinner or lunch is always a problem for me, especially in parts of Europe.
He is now suffering from gout, he does not drink at all. I contribute it to too much beef and other sugary, bad choices. I wish I could convince him to try things, but he is so closed.
Does anyone think I have any shot at helping him change even a little. He is 58 years old, I am 47.
It's not a political statement for me, it's just impossible for me to eve consider eating an animail. Oddly he is a big dog and animal lover.
Appreciate any input.
Lori

holy smokes - that sounds just like my husband! Thanks for making me feel normal in this vegetarian life.

I find the fact my boyfriend is a veggie and I am a not a complete nightmare!! especially for cooking as I want to make meat dishes but not just for myself as for me the whole reason for cooking is for others to appreciate.

I am quite a good cook and feel I am held back by the fact he is veggie as because I care so much for him I just cook Veggie all the time but I am sooooo frustrated in the cooking department.

I have millions of cook books and love west indian food which is lots of 3 day marinated chicken but I feel I can't improve unless I have lots of people over for dinner to cook for and then it gets expensive. I have had lots of veggie food since being with him and been to lovely veggie restaurants which I have enjoyed but only for a change.

Anyway nevermind I have to accept him as he is but I find it very difficult.